Oh Baby, What an Experience

Good afternoon everyone! So today marks the day before I was born 31 years ago AND the day before Noëlle, my beautiful, funny, happy baby girl, came into the world just 7 months ago. This morning on our walk I reflected on the last 7 months, 16 months (since I became pregnant), and the last 31 years. And it occurred to me that while I have the privilege and wisdom of 31 years of experience and reflection as a young girl and then a young women, I have only 7 months of reflection as a mama. I am a baby at mamahood! And I am learning more about myself, about being a mother, and of course about my new daughter every day. I will spare you the 45 minutes of reflection on being a mom, but what I want to talk about today is how absolutely fantastic my experience was with the model of care I received during pregnancy, during my labor and delivery and in the weeks postpartum. It was an experience that I want to share in the hopes that you may also really explore this model and not just write it off as I almost did in the beginning. It's too important to not give it the time and energy and focus that it truly deserves.
After becoming pregnant, I automatically, like most people do, thought I would go with a hospital birth with my obstetrician. I knew vaguely, given that I have never done anything "by the book," that there were alternative options, but it wasn't until my aunt (I told you, I come from a witchy line of women) suggested that I look into using a midwife and going the truly traditional approach (fun fact: the American Medical Association was founded just shortly before the 20th century, and that marked the transition from home births with midwives to hospital births with doctors and surgeons). I can remember initially thinking about midwives: "Oh gosh, I don't think I could go that route. No drugs for pain? What if something went wrong? Shouldn't I be in a hospital setting for safety?" But rather than base a decision on what I thought I knew, which I realized was very little, I did my own research, read the statistics, I watched a lot of documentaries (The Business of Being Born was my favorite!), talked to friends who had experienced both models of care, read books, looked online and set up visits at local birthing centers and hospitals, and tore through a lot of independent studies on safety. I had to get to the bottom of it and make an informed decision for myself, as I do with most things in my life.

In my research, I learned some really important facts: for low-risk pregnancies, hospital births are no safer than home births and the rate of transfer to hospitals is usually extremely low; most certified nurse-midwives have attended more healthy, vaginal births than doctors in practice for equal time; there are many more c-sections among women who have hospital-planned births than home births (this includes women who have been transferred to the hospital by a midwife); there are less interventions with midwives (inductions, epidurals, episiotomies, etc) and without any difference in outcome for mother or baby; I could eat and drink throughout my labor if and when I wanted and move around as I desired; I could expect my midwife to stay with me throughout labor, once in their care, whereas a doctor might be in and out; and there tends to be more sensitivity in how the baby is treated after the birth (separation, scrubbing, when the cord is cut, etc) and what treatments are insisted upon (heel prick/blood test, vitamin k shot, eye cream, etc). After doing my own homework, which included talking with several doctors and midwives, I felt in my core that my body and my experience would be viewed as more sacred and that my choices would be honored, respected and encouraged more with a midwife. I felt that my labor and delivery would be less pathological/medical and more natural, relaxed and confident, as I felt it should be. And I felt that I would be allowed to create my birth plan and know it would be respected from the moment I put it in place through the delivery of my baby.

By the time I was finished with my research, interviewing midwives and doctors, and visiting the hospital and 2 birthing centers, I had made a decision: we were going to go with a midwife! And I was so excited!! I couldn't wait!! Couldn't wait for birth? Nope, not with the midwives I had chosen. They were Constance and Carolee, two wonderfully unique gals who have Around the Circle Midwifery in Olympia, WA; and because we live out in the country and 45 minutes from the nearest hospital (should anything go wrong) we would be delivering our baby in one of their big, beautiful birthing suites at the Birth House (a gorgeous hundred-year-old Victorian home turned into a laboring-mama's heaven ;). This was IT for us. We both felt so at-home and so at-ease with these women, in this space. I felt like I belonged there, like it was "home," and that everything was done to encourage and support me as the woman bringing a baby into this world. Those of you who know little about midwives, home births or birth center births, please do yourselves a favor and forget everything you think you know or everything you have heard and look into it. Do your own due diligence, especially with something as important as how and where you will be bringing your child into this world. And there is a lot of information to learn more.

So many times over the last 7 months, in total joy, I reflect back to the night of April 17th when I felt connected to all women who had done this before me and who were doing it with me that night, as I knelt in the big birthing tub and delivered Noëlle smoothly and unassisted into this world, all of us tucked warmly into a quiet, calm, candle-lit birthing suite, with soft music playing in the background and a single midwife and her assistant whispering respectfully and moving quietly around the room. I remember how Noëlle let out just one cry to inflate her lungs and then snuggled against me, as we stared at each other in total wonder, no separation, no scrubbing, no bright lights or cold air, no heel pricks, eye ointment, or vitanin k shot (we gave her the drops in her mouth in the weeks following). My midwives waited patiently for her cord to completely finish delivering blood to her (so important!) before it was cut. I remember with a full, joyful heart how Aaron and I lay in the suite's big bed with Noëlle for the first time as she nursed and slept for just 3 short hours, before we packed up and headed home with everything looking perfectly healthy. And how, just 12 hours after her birth, we awakened in our own home, where for the next 2 days, and in the weeks following, Carolee, our attending midwife, came to see us. And I can say with total fulfillment that my experience was exactly as I knew it would be. It wasn't pathological, it wasn't "medical," it wasn't a whirlwind of people and noises and lights and monitors. It was out-of-this world, intense, joyful, and absolutely sacred and transcendent. Looking back on my rite-of-passage (and really, it is!) and every moment leading up to it, as I was looked after by these wonderful, witchy women (and mothers themselves), I can honestly say I am so glad I decided to explore the unknown and that I ended up going with what felt right to me instead of with what I thought was "acceptable" and "normal." My experience was as beautiful and as sacred as I dreamed it could be. And I cannot wait to do it again! My blessings to all of you who are about to take this journey. What a marvelous adventure.

This is Noëlle's first photo. And Aaron's first photo as a daddy...with his "rally beard." This shows the extent of the intervention with Noëlle, monitoring her heartbeat with daddy holding her. Very special.